I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
