I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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