I heard we made out
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
