No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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