I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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