bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
