I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
