it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
he kept opening the car door while we were ON THE HIGHWAY and insisting he could walk. next time i drive my boss home at 3am i'm putting the child lock on
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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