member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
