Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
