So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
