He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
Randomize
