Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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