As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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