Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
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