I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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