He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
