who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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