for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I need water and some morals
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
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