Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
