You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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