is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
