Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
