Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
sex in a hospital.. check
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
