Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
