Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize