How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
