Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Randomize
