I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
