All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
