32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
They should really pass out barf bags in church
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
