Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
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