do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
I need moral support for this bender
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
