She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
