just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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