you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Randomize
