Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
