Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
I just found puke in my bra..
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
