he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
