adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Randomize
