Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Farmville is her only friend.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Randomize
