I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
