I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
