I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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