That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
