There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
