I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize