He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
