Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I skipped work to stalk him.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
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