Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
