Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
