Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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