she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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