i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
