you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
The cops high fived after they tackled you
The adults are the big ones right?
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
